It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
how drunk are you?
Several
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
