he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
