just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
