I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize