You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
