Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
