What did we do last night that was yellow?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
