i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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