She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
