im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
