Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
