i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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