Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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