wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
