she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
3 2 1 whiskey
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
