i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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