i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize