he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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