dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
