I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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