You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
