I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
