why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize