I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
