Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
