I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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