Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
