My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
