I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
