kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i think i just lost a toe
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize