I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
