I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
