I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
