she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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