Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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