why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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