Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
