your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
