i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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