I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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