Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
