Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
