I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she looked like the before picture.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
