I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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