Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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