Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
