I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
