Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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