Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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