marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
