I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize