And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
