Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You were trust falling into bushes
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
