Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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