Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
