You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
